I’m thankful don’t live in Harlan, Kentucky, where it is unlawful to throw coal at another person if the size of the lump exceeds three inches. Because you never know when you’re going to have to take out a stingy Santa.
I’m thankful I don’t live in Pittsburgh, where policewomen aren’t allowed to use lipstick. Does strawberry ChapStick count?
I’m thankful I don’t live in Maryland, where lions can’t be taken to the theater. Who else am I supposed to share my three gallon tub of buttered popcorn with?
I’m thankful I don’t live in Georgia, where it is against the law to buy, sell, raise or give away a parrot. Those poor Georgia based pirates…
I’m thankful I don’t live in North Dakota, where it is illegal for anyone to go to bed wearing shoes or boots. Here, it’s simply an invitation to get written on with Sharpie – especially after a long night of carousing out on the town with friends.
I’m thankful I don’t live in West Virginia, where a person may not persuade another to kill a frog for him. No bribing your way out of biology lab there.
I’m thankful I don’t live in Florida, where you aren’t allowed to crack more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. I’m quite prone to crockery accidents.
I’m thankful I don’t live in Jackson, Mississippi, where you aren’t allowed to burn down your house without removing the top first. Does anyone have a pop top house these days?
I’m thankful I don’t live in Toledo, where you aren’t allowed to throw reptiles at another person. Sometimes they’re just asking for it.
I’m thankful I don’t live in Denver, where it’s unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor. Isn’t it punishment enough when they give it back broken?
I’m thankful I don’t live in Greene, New York, where you cannot eat peanuts and walk backward on the sidewalks while a concert is on. That’s just good clean fun.
I’m thankful that I don’t live in Galveston, Texas, where it’s illegal for camels to wander unattended in the streets. I love looking out my window at night knowing that there’s a chance, however slim, that I just might see one.
I’m thankful I don’t live in Massachusetts, where it’s forbidden to put tomatoes in clam chowder. Culinary creativity should never be stifled, regardless of the disgust factor.
But most of all, I’m thankful that I have an amazing ten year old who owns World’s Dumbest Laws by Dick Hyman. Thanks to him, I had a blog post.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours from the Charlotte School of Law Library!